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Actual Writings on Hospital Charts


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#1 multipleoranges45

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Posted 26 October 2007 - 06:17 PM

Actual writings on Hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Just another of the wonderful chain-mails I get from my mum! laugh.gif

#2 Master

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Posted 19 November 2007 - 11:24 PM

I could have sworn I've seen some of those before.....

If only I had that worksheet I got for school a couple years ago...it had a bunch of those tongue.gif

#3 Ch33se H4ck3r

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Posted 02 January 2008 - 05:58 AM

QUOTE
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.



hahahahaha!!! That is funny!!!

#4 Ifrit

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 08:16 PM

I love lists of things like that. I can actually read them for hours on end if I want to.

#5 teh silly

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Posted 14 January 2008 - 11:07 PM

Nice list. #21 is pretty funny.

#6 Demize

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Posted 31 January 2008 - 10:22 PM

I love this forum, and these jokes are why. Nice list!

#7 ninjagaiden

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 06:47 PM

this forum makes me chuckel
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#8 Doctor Steel

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Posted 09 June 2008 - 06:36 PM

QUOTE(multipleoranges45 @ Oct 26 2007, 01:17 PM) View Post
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
...
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.


So i herd you liek docters? laugh.gif
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#9 Sungazer

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Posted 10 June 2008 - 10:49 PM

these things make me lol, i love em


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