multipleoranges45 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Actual writings on Hospital charts: 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Just another of the wonderful chain-mails I get from my mum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I could have sworn I've seen some of those before..... If only I had that worksheet I got for school a couple years ago...it had a bunch of those Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ch33se H4ck3r Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. hahahahaha!!! That is funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ifrit Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I love lists of things like that. I can actually read them for hours on end if I want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh silly Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Nice list. #21 is pretty funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demize Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I love this forum, and these jokes are why. Nice list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjagaiden Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 this forum makes me chuckel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Steel Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. ... 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. So i herd you liek docters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sungazer Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 these things make me lol, i love em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.