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AIRCRAFT JOKE!!!


praiseR

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Joke about 'below' economy class flights

 

 

 

This is your captain speaking...??!?!

 

 

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Mr. chin chye

lai) welcoming you on board.....I apologise if I cannot see you...can

see nothing from my cockpit anyway, lights not working....We

apologies for the delay in taking off, some minor problem, just replace

the engine, new engine cannibalize from the aircraft that decided to

take a swim in the south china sea...

 

This is flight 126 from Senaisini to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not

guaranteed, but we will DEFINTIELY end up somewhere in the region. And

if luck is on our side, we may even be landing on your village!

Standards are such that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

 

It is with pleasure that I announce that starting this year over 50 of

our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don't

quite make it, our staff have all the requisite experience for consoling

the next-of-kin. Our stewardess, Anjali, will be happy to brief you on

our out-of-court settlement policies.

 

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can

arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and

memorable, we serve complimentary samosas and lassi.

 

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can

help you find out if there really is a God.

 

 

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie ("Hands off my

chutney") will not be shown, as we forgot to record it from the

television.

 

But for our movie buffs, we will be flying alongside Singapore Airlines,

where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin

window.

 

We regret to advise that smoking is prohibited on this flight.

Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the

engines telling us to slow down.

 

Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes

are made available to the Aunties and swimming shorts to the

Uncles.......it is likely that you will need them later.

 

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and

fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly

fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. For those of you who don't

have a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with our

stewardess,Anjali,who will explain how to fasten yourself to your

suitcase. otherwise suka lu lah....If I don't see you again, enjoy your

flight with Air Chinchye.

 

Thank you.

:rockman: :rockman: :rockman:

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