Joke about 'below' economy class flights
This is your captain speaking...??!?!
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Mr. chin chye
lai) welcoming you on board.....I apologise if I cannot see you...can
see nothing from my cockpit anyway, lights not working....We
apologies for the delay in taking off, some minor problem, just replace
the engine, new engine cannibalize from the aircraft that decided to
take a swim in the south china sea...
This is flight 126 from Senaisini to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not
guaranteed, but we will DEFINTIELY end up somewhere in the region. And
if luck is on our side, we may even be landing on your village!
Standards are such that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure that I announce that starting this year over 50 of
our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don't
quite make it, our staff have all the requisite experience for consoling
the next-of-kin. Our stewardess, Anjali, will be happy to brief you on
our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can
arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and
memorable, we serve complimentary samosas and lassi.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can
help you find out if there really is a God.
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie ("Hands off my
chutney") will not be shown, as we forgot to record it from the
television.
But for our movie buffs, we will be flying alongside Singapore Airlines,
where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin
window.
We regret to advise that smoking is prohibited on this flight.
Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the
engines telling us to slow down.
Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes
are made available to the Aunties and swimming shorts to the
Uncles.......it is likely that you will need them later.
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and
fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. For those of you who don't
have a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with our
stewardess,Anjali,who will explain how to fasten yourself to your
suitcase. otherwise suka lu lah....If I don't see you again, enjoy your
flight with Air Chinchye.
Thank you.
:rockman: :rockman: :rockman: